Really, honestly, seriously? I can't even believe this right now. I really, really can't.
I love how I was doing so well, at least briefly. No thoughts of him. No wondering what he was doing, not often anyway... And then, of course, today I was chat-chitting with my old youth pastor on Facebook and even HE knew about us seeing each other. He lives in freaking Oregon.
"I was there last month I saw a bunch of people. Missed you though. I talked to Ben Sisson and he mentioned you were hanging out with Ethan. How's that going?"
ARE YOU FREAKING EVEN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? Really, honestly, seriously.
I shrugged it off. I told Jess and she was like, "You should tell him you guys are doing freaking awesome!"
I hate my life a little bit. More so specifically him.
I'm stuck in a rut. Especially at home. It is so weird here. I hate it. I want school to be over so I can work full time so I can go to freaking Boston. Really, honestly, seriously.
I've been arguing with Devin a lot lately. I dunno why. We were fine all last semester, and we spent far more time together. Ironic, I think. I told him to keep it up and be mean. His birthday is coming up, so I keep threatening him with gift ideas. Haha. I have a really good one and he will feel bad for being such a jerk-face all the time.
Fail. Fail, fail, fail. fmylife.com
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Wicked Witch.
Eh. Just some non-sense. Help me think of a Title.
It was just like any other Tuesday. Woke up, got ready for school, ironed my coat. I remember looking longingly at the coffee pot, wishing it was full of that rich liquid, but it remained empty. No matter, there wasn’t time for coffee. The sun was shining and that was pleasant, though it was rather cold. I threw the contents in my arms into the backseat of my car and waited for my car to warm. Though the sun was shining, there had been a vast amount of ice plastered to my car, and the surroundings near by. It was a little out of the ordinary, for I had never seen so much frost in Southern California before, but once my window had defrosted I ventured on.
I had gone to pick up my counterpart at the usual meeting spot. I, of course, was a few minutes late, but neither of us had paid much attention to it. He gathered this belongings and transferred them from his vehicle to mine. We did the usual good morning routine as we rolled toward the freeway. As we were driving, we noticed the field of ice next to us, and I made a note that it was literally freezing outside of my car. My digital thermometer had picked up our surroundings to be a chilled twenty-nine degrees Fahrenheit. We then managed to fathom a scenario where we had somehow woken up in the Artic and there were galloping polar bears chasing baby seals. Of course there were penguins, and we were teaching them how to fly. Like I said, it was just like any other Tuesday.
Upon our arrival to school, everything was the same. Roll-call every time we went from one place to the next. Chef yelling about various things. Laughter, knives chopping herbs and dough mixers scraping flour filled the room. Nothing unusual. Nothing to make a note of. The delight of consistency was almost comforting. The drive home with my companion was the same; We sang off key a portion of the drive home, and then he fell asleep. It makes me chuckle every time.
Work. I change from my grungy chef ensemble to jeans and a t-shirt. It’s decent work attire for an insurance office. Shuffle papers around for a few hours, while Boss makes random references to quesadillas and the army. My co-workers smile and nod. When he’s not looking, I roll my eyes. I go talk to the girl behind the wall about her day while Boss is in the back. We avoided getting in trouble. It was a decent work day.
Everything was right with the world. Mind you, it’s still cold outside, but it wasn’t intolerable. Brisk, some would say. There isn’t a single cloud out and the sun was high in the sky. It was a good day. It actually was a good day. I had gone home to change into something a little nicer. I felt the need to get one of those fancy, over-priced Starbucks after work. Why, I still haven’t a slightest idea. A Grande Carmel Macchiato for nearly four dollars. I handed the girl behind the register my card in exchange for something I wouldn’t be able to enjoy for at least twenty minutes. Saying thank you, I head out the door. The cool air was refreshing after being in that stuffy coffee house. I fumbled for my keys and headed toward the parking lot. Off in the distance, there was something unusual - something one doesn’t normally see on a brisk Tuesday in So*Cal. It was a tornado. I dropped my drink. Panic was racing through my veins. Before there was even a chance to gasp in awe, the tornado had worked it’s way toward me. It was magnificent, destructive and I had fallen a little bit in love with the sheer force it had. I had never seen such brilliance before in my life.
How could this even be possible? An ordinary Tuesday very literally turned upside down. The winds were intense and thick. It was hard to breathe, let alone move. I shut my eyes as it whisked me upward. It was warm and frightfully calming. Screaming didn’t seem help, nor did crying - My eyes had never been pressed together so tight. I was petrified. It seemed to just carry on its path, no mind to what displacement it had caused. Somehow, I was tangled in this mess, relatively unharmed. Shocked, scared, anxious, but unharmed. We had traveled a good distance, the tornado and I, or so it had felt. I managed to get my eyes open long enough to realize I had no idea where we were. Perchance I had been in this vortex of doom too long to know better, but I was certain that this was nowhere near to where we had begun.
The winds had become more intense. It wasn’t the almost comforting feeling, like it had been when I had initially been pulled upward. It was harsh, and bitter now and I was all the more worried. The cyclone had begun tossing me about as if I was nothing more than a rag-doll. it was hard to breathe before but now it had proven to be a nearly impossible task. The crying came back in a fiercer fashion. I felt sick. I traveled a bit farther in this hellish-storm. The winds slowed down enough to fling me downward against the ground. I tried to catch my breath as a embraced the cement. It was outrageously smooth and an awkward emerald colour. I had never seen ground like this before, or I had hit my head far too hard in the process of coming down. Unfortunately, I had no time to have concern for the flooring. Looking up, I realized that the tornado was not finished with me. When I was up in it’s grasp, I seemed to overlook the debris it had picked up. My body ached as I tried to scramble out of the way for what was spiraling down towards me.
A house. A freaking house.
Could this honestly be happening? I covered my face and braced myself for the impact. All I could think about was the Wizard of Oz. Was I the Wicked Witch of the East? Had I done something to offend the Wizard? Shouldn’t I have at least gotten a memo that my run of the mill Tuesday would end up with a house smashing me into oblivion?
I must have blacked out, because I woke up with shards of house surrounding me. More or less of the house had my body trapped, but I had managed to live. I had never struggled for breath so hard in my life. My body ached. How I wished to be the Wicked Witch, for at least she had died! Never had I been so miserable, so hurt, so shocked. From where I was laying I managed to glimpse [or imagine?] outside of the fragments. The tornado was in the distance, almost mocking me with what it had done. It had grown smaller now, and felt no remorse for the displacement for the pain it had caused.
Eventually I was freed from the disaster. If I recall correctly, I heard a few of the voices saying that their rescue vehicle had died and they needed it jump-started. Just my luck. I supposed it didn’t matter, seeing as I made it out in one piece. Never in my life would I have expected a conventional Tuesday to be the most obscene event of my life.
It still hurts to breathe, but every day gets a little easier.
It was just like any other Tuesday. Woke up, got ready for school, ironed my coat. I remember looking longingly at the coffee pot, wishing it was full of that rich liquid, but it remained empty. No matter, there wasn’t time for coffee. The sun was shining and that was pleasant, though it was rather cold. I threw the contents in my arms into the backseat of my car and waited for my car to warm. Though the sun was shining, there had been a vast amount of ice plastered to my car, and the surroundings near by. It was a little out of the ordinary, for I had never seen so much frost in Southern California before, but once my window had defrosted I ventured on.
I had gone to pick up my counterpart at the usual meeting spot. I, of course, was a few minutes late, but neither of us had paid much attention to it. He gathered this belongings and transferred them from his vehicle to mine. We did the usual good morning routine as we rolled toward the freeway. As we were driving, we noticed the field of ice next to us, and I made a note that it was literally freezing outside of my car. My digital thermometer had picked up our surroundings to be a chilled twenty-nine degrees Fahrenheit. We then managed to fathom a scenario where we had somehow woken up in the Artic and there were galloping polar bears chasing baby seals. Of course there were penguins, and we were teaching them how to fly. Like I said, it was just like any other Tuesday.
Upon our arrival to school, everything was the same. Roll-call every time we went from one place to the next. Chef yelling about various things. Laughter, knives chopping herbs and dough mixers scraping flour filled the room. Nothing unusual. Nothing to make a note of. The delight of consistency was almost comforting. The drive home with my companion was the same; We sang off key a portion of the drive home, and then he fell asleep. It makes me chuckle every time.
Work. I change from my grungy chef ensemble to jeans and a t-shirt. It’s decent work attire for an insurance office. Shuffle papers around for a few hours, while Boss makes random references to quesadillas and the army. My co-workers smile and nod. When he’s not looking, I roll my eyes. I go talk to the girl behind the wall about her day while Boss is in the back. We avoided getting in trouble. It was a decent work day.
Everything was right with the world. Mind you, it’s still cold outside, but it wasn’t intolerable. Brisk, some would say. There isn’t a single cloud out and the sun was high in the sky. It was a good day. It actually was a good day. I had gone home to change into something a little nicer. I felt the need to get one of those fancy, over-priced Starbucks after work. Why, I still haven’t a slightest idea. A Grande Carmel Macchiato for nearly four dollars. I handed the girl behind the register my card in exchange for something I wouldn’t be able to enjoy for at least twenty minutes. Saying thank you, I head out the door. The cool air was refreshing after being in that stuffy coffee house. I fumbled for my keys and headed toward the parking lot. Off in the distance, there was something unusual - something one doesn’t normally see on a brisk Tuesday in So*Cal. It was a tornado. I dropped my drink. Panic was racing through my veins. Before there was even a chance to gasp in awe, the tornado had worked it’s way toward me. It was magnificent, destructive and I had fallen a little bit in love with the sheer force it had. I had never seen such brilliance before in my life.
How could this even be possible? An ordinary Tuesday very literally turned upside down. The winds were intense and thick. It was hard to breathe, let alone move. I shut my eyes as it whisked me upward. It was warm and frightfully calming. Screaming didn’t seem help, nor did crying - My eyes had never been pressed together so tight. I was petrified. It seemed to just carry on its path, no mind to what displacement it had caused. Somehow, I was tangled in this mess, relatively unharmed. Shocked, scared, anxious, but unharmed. We had traveled a good distance, the tornado and I, or so it had felt. I managed to get my eyes open long enough to realize I had no idea where we were. Perchance I had been in this vortex of doom too long to know better, but I was certain that this was nowhere near to where we had begun.
The winds had become more intense. It wasn’t the almost comforting feeling, like it had been when I had initially been pulled upward. It was harsh, and bitter now and I was all the more worried. The cyclone had begun tossing me about as if I was nothing more than a rag-doll. it was hard to breathe before but now it had proven to be a nearly impossible task. The crying came back in a fiercer fashion. I felt sick. I traveled a bit farther in this hellish-storm. The winds slowed down enough to fling me downward against the ground. I tried to catch my breath as a embraced the cement. It was outrageously smooth and an awkward emerald colour. I had never seen ground like this before, or I had hit my head far too hard in the process of coming down. Unfortunately, I had no time to have concern for the flooring. Looking up, I realized that the tornado was not finished with me. When I was up in it’s grasp, I seemed to overlook the debris it had picked up. My body ached as I tried to scramble out of the way for what was spiraling down towards me.
A house. A freaking house.
Could this honestly be happening? I covered my face and braced myself for the impact. All I could think about was the Wizard of Oz. Was I the Wicked Witch of the East? Had I done something to offend the Wizard? Shouldn’t I have at least gotten a memo that my run of the mill Tuesday would end up with a house smashing me into oblivion?
I must have blacked out, because I woke up with shards of house surrounding me. More or less of the house had my body trapped, but I had managed to live. I had never struggled for breath so hard in my life. My body ached. How I wished to be the Wicked Witch, for at least she had died! Never had I been so miserable, so hurt, so shocked. From where I was laying I managed to glimpse [or imagine?] outside of the fragments. The tornado was in the distance, almost mocking me with what it had done. It had grown smaller now, and felt no remorse for the displacement for the pain it had caused.
Eventually I was freed from the disaster. If I recall correctly, I heard a few of the voices saying that their rescue vehicle had died and they needed it jump-started. Just my luck. I supposed it didn’t matter, seeing as I made it out in one piece. Never in my life would I have expected a conventional Tuesday to be the most obscene event of my life.
It still hurts to breathe, but every day gets a little easier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
